


Always With Me

by ZodiacRiver



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 02:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17153300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZodiacRiver/pseuds/ZodiacRiver
Summary: A memorable Christmas Eve, where words of love are sung, and feet go from left to right, right to left in an impromptu dance.





	Always With Me

**Author's Note:**

> I JUST NEEDED HEALING OK so i wrote this in one seating and i almost cried!!!
> 
> I didn't make up the song! It's Spirited Away's theme song - Itsumo Nando Demo. I was reminiscing my old days and found this song again and ??? this is SO asheiji ??? I got the translated English lyrics from a website, and practically all other websites serve the same lyrics. While I'm not fluent in Japanese, I know that some lyrics are false and not literal - so please forgive that! ^^

It was Christmas Eve. The sun had long greeted its nadir, before its orange rays finally disappeared and was replaced by the moon’s silver glimmer. Outside, the wind blew lightly, brushing the tawny leaves and taking their hands in a noisy dance.

 

Even though the air was helplessly cold, it was somehow so warm in Eiji’s house. He was in the kitchen, spinning a mug of hot chocolate with a small metal spoon into a whirlpool of brown liquid, the occasional clinking sound filling the otherwise quiet atmosphere. The night was getting older. It was already past ten, and he could see from where he was standing through the window, that the moon was full, suspended up high in the navy sky by an invisible string.

 

It was tranquil, there wasn’t a single noise aside from the sound of spoon hitting ceramic, until Ash decided to break the silence by saying, “play some music, Eiji.”

 

“Music?” he asked, smiling and bringing his head up to look at him as his hand came to a stop from swirling. “What kind of music?”

 

Ash seemed to be thinking about it. He pressed his lips together, looking down while tapping his fingers against the kitchen counter. It was almost like a nervous gesture. Eiji took ahold of his hand, holding it with earnest sincerity, trying to tell him that it was all right not to answer. He brought the mug closer to Ash.

 

“Drink up before it’s cold.”

 

“Thanks,” Ash brought the mug to his lips and took a few gulps, his eyes fluttering close, savoring the heat of the liquid that immediately warmed him.

 

It was Eiji who warmed his heart, though, as soon as he felt lips on his cheek, soft and gentle and with uninhibited passion. “What kind of music, Ash?”

 

“I was wondering if you had a song that matters to you the most,” he began. “A childhood memory, maybe? Or a melody that you heard in the car a few years back? Anything. Just something unforgettable that plays in your head when you’re in a good mood. I would…love to hear it.”

 

It was Eiji’s turn to think. Had he a song like that? He wasn’t the biggest fan of music, but there were, of course, one or two songs that he liked. Not enough to be what Ash had just described, though.

 

When Ash looked at him with those green, green eyes, he discovered himself melting a smile. Ash reciprocated with a patient, knowing beam. He was unworldly beautiful like that. An immortal beauty. “No?” Ash squeezed his hand, and Eiji found what he was looking for.

 

“There is, actually,” he nodded slowly. “But it’s in Japanese. You won’t understand.”

 

“That’s okay. You can translate it, can’t you?”

 

Eiji nodded again. “It’s called ‘Always With Me’.”

 

He searched for the song on his phone, clicked on the ‘play’ button, and the lovely tune of the piano came into scene.

 

“Hey,” Eiji said, his breath catching in his throat. The liquefied grass in Ash’s eyes seemed to intensely yet delicately stare through him. “Let’s dance to it.”

 

Ash seemed to be processing his words slower, because he had no time in replying when Eiji positioned their bodies and pressing their foreheads together. His arms were circled around Ash’s neck, and Ash unconsciously had wrapped his around Eiji’s waist.

 

The position was awkward and both of them were clearly inexperienced in this, but it still made the two blush and breathe in anticipation. The lyrics started, and Eiji spoke what it meant in English.

 

_Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my chest._

_May I always be dreaming the dreams that move my heart._

 

His singing voice wasn’t angelic; it was nowhere near a masterpiece, but it was brilliantly coated with tenderness, so much that it bled, seeped into Ash’s mind to be remembered forever.

 

_So many tears of despair, uncountable through and through._

_I know on the other side of them I'll be sure to find you._

Their movements were sloppy and obviously unpracticed; sometimes their feet nipped at each other accidentally. But they kept on moving, dancing an impromptu dance.

 

_Every time we fall down to the ground we look up to the sky above._

_We wake to its blueness, as if for the first time._

_Though the road is long, lonely and the end far away, out of sight,_

_I can, with these arms, embrace the light._

Eiji stuttered a bit. It was a little hard to think when you were in such situation. Right then, he was in the arms of his most beloved, and it was almost an impossible situation. Magical, he’d say.

 

_As I bid farewell my heart stops, tenderly I feel._

_My silent empty soul begins to listen to what is real._

 

Perhaps, not really. They’ve been lovers for so long they knew. Still, though, the burst of euphoric emotions in his heart was unbearable. Dancing shouldn’t be _this_ intimate, but it was. Eiji began to feel pulse in weird places of his body. He was hyperaware of the circumstance and the way his heart steadily beat under the skin of his chest.

 

_The wonder of living, the wonder of dying._

_The wind, town, and flowers, we all dance in unity._

_Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart._

_Keep dreaming your dreams, don't ever let them part._

He lost track of time, where he was, what was happening—everything. The only thing on his mind was Ash, and only him, and that was it. The pain of the past assaulted, but he clenched his eyes shut and heard Ash’s unwavering breathing. He opened his eyes after realizing that he’d been closing them all this time, and black and green clashed.

 

_Why speak of all your sadness or of life's painful woes;_

_Instead let the same voice sing a gentle song for you._

He didn’t stop singing, even when their eyes met. Ash’s eyes had always been fierce. They were terrifyingly vehement, an infusion of aggression tinting them. But this time, they were _gentle_. Those were the eyes of someone that Eiji vowed to protect. The look that he knew he would never take for granted, not this time, not in this life, not in this world.

 

_The whispering voice, we will never want to forget,_

_in each passing memory always there to guide you._

_When a mirror has been broken, shattered pieces scattered on the ground._

_Glimpses of new life, are reflected all around._

_Window of beginning let shine the light of a new dawn._

_Let my silent, empty soul be filled and reborn._

_No need to search the land, nor sail across the sea._

_Because it's here shining inside me, it's right here deep inside me._

Suddenly, Ash stopped. Eiji was forced to also stop his steps. The music went on, and finally ended without Eiji’s translation, because he was too perplexed to speak and wanted to ask what was wrong. He immediately realized that Ash was crying.

 

“What’s the matter?” he inquired, stroking away the stray hair from Ash’s forehead.

 

Wordlessly, Ash moved his hands up from Eiji’s hips to his face, cupping his cheeks in the most ethereal grip. Then, he leaned in and kissed him, passionately on the lips. He kissed him, a slow press of lips on lips.

 

Eiji returned in a single heartbeat. He was still holding him by the shoulders, and he didn’t change. He stayed that way until Ash pulled away to hug him. “I love you,” Ash said bluntly, saying it as if there was nothing else to say, as if it was the only thing that Eiji needed to know.

 

“I love you,” he echoed.

 

The rest of the lyrics was never spoken, but both of them knew, by heart, what it was, and what it meant.

 

_Thanks to you I've found the light, and it's always with me._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading pls tell me what you think!!!! TwT


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